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10th-Dec-2009 08:01 am - Today I Agree to Stop Saying It
Tyne, TyBird, Nee Nee, Littlefoot
I'm cutting some strings today.
Last night, well, early this morning.
Those words fell on flat ears.
This isn't the first time he didn't return them.
This isn't the first time he ignored them and moved on with the conversation.
So I've been thinking.
Am I really his girlfriend or his friend with benefits (with the title of girlfriend)?
We've been together since Easter. Known each other for 3 years.
He said it a few times before.
I don't need constant reassurance that he do.
Im just tired of guessing.
I told Sheree, that I'm going to wear the title of girlfriend, but treat him as a friend instead.
Because I hope, it will hurt less when he does the same.
Because I wont have to see/hear those words come out of my mouth and be ignored.
Because maybe the next time he says it, he won't feel force to.


10th-Dec-2009 07:30 am - Unhappy Holidays
Tyne, TyBird, Nee Nee, Littlefoot
So they sucked the holiday spirit right out of me.
Family, friends, financial situations everywhere.
T_T
No matter how hard I might try make the day bright
No one's in the spirit anymore.
It sucks.
The holidays used to be my fave.
Now it's just issue ridden.
....
As much as I try to make things right
It's blows up on me.
Why do i these things anyway?
To make people happy.
All i want for christmas is a smile on everyone faces.
Separate the material things and just love.
But everything I try, doesn't work.
I'm starting to give up on that christmas wish.
10th-Dec-2009 01:19 am - HOLY LOVING SMOKES.
Tyne, TyBird, Nee Nee, Littlefoot
Hello my LJ.
Sorry for long lost disappearance..

^_^
Don't worry I'm working through my problems with a smile.
I'm feeling more and more confident as the days go by.
Secretly, I think I finally finding my groove.
^_^ Tis makes me happys.

The climb may be horrible but the view is worth it.
28th-Oct-2009 11:26 am - Get it, Got it, Done!
Tyne, TyBird, Nee Nee, Littlefoot
Yeah I know i've been a very bad updater.
T_T
I hope my emotional state improves before I leave for this damn drill.

No I'm not going to drone on and on about my issues.
Because to be honest, my problems could be a hell of a lot worse.
i just want to be able to have a steady ground to stand on.
*hopes and prays for good things to come*
9th-Oct-2009 12:28 am - The Ultimatum
Tyne, TyBird, Nee Nee, Littlefoot

Good girls finish last.
No matter how hard you try to please a guy,
but still try to maintain some personal sanity.
Somehow, you never good enough.


I honestly have reached a point of not putting my heart on the shelf anymore.
It's been a disappointment after disappointment after disappointment.
Not just with boyfriends but with friends too.

I try to be a good person.
But, the more I do right by others, the more others do wrong by me.
I have very few friends. Always had.
And it's sad to say... I'm losing every will to trust anyone.


23rd-Sep-2009 06:01 pm - A Little Pep Talk
Tyne, TyBird, Nee Nee, Littlefoot
OMG Where have I been?

On that emotional rollercoaster.
Stressed-out.
BUT you know....
Everyone has their down days (some even months or years)..
And honestly... not to make anyone paranoid...
people judge you more on how you react when you're feeling down.
You can be an inspiration ...in the good way (I want to be like her)
or in the bad way (I'm not going to be like that chick).
Yeah and we all say at some point in our lives.
"I don't give a fuck what people think or say about me."
And that's when we lose control in effort to try to prove that we don't care.
The end result, we end up feeling worse then ever.
Damage control is something worth learning.
A low blow to the gut is something we can't avoid, ie... a bad break-up,
an uncomfortable situation, and death ( and taxes, so I am told).
And I'm not saying " Oh you big cry-baby, get over it."
Hell let the emotions flow.
The only way to get over something is time and action...
Because that bridge isn't going to (at least it shouldn't) cross itself.
So, in summary, focus on getting better (no matter how long it takes).


1st-Sep-2009 09:23 am(no subject)
Tyne, TyBird, Nee Nee, Littlefoot
It's Sept 1st

Wow. This is going so fast..
Now it's time to start saving up for a costume.
^_^ Yeah... I'm a sucker for holidays.
There's a lot of things I got to get done this week.
And I have the potential to do.
Just that... getting started is hell.

So right now just looking for some motivation.
^_^
Wonder where my personal cheerleader when I need one.


31st-Aug-2009 04:10 pm - Great Victor
Tyne, TyBird, Nee Nee, Littlefoot
Slowly but surely 
Im getting on the good part of the karma cycle.
^_^
Nothing major is really going on.
Still have a problematic relationship.
Still lack a real social life.
School for the high schoolers and below starts next week.
Open house is sometime this week.
I'm thinking about going.
I need to know what to expect since I'm tutoring.
^_^
Yays!
Oh yesterday I did something I haven't done in ages.
Play volleyball.
Seems little. But hey it's big step in the right direction.


28th-Aug-2009 06:10 pm - Refresh and Start Again
Tyne, TyBird, Nee Nee, Littlefoot
 
 
I honestly don't know what's been making me feel sick
But I'm slowly getting out of this pitfall I seemed to imagined.
At least that what I would love to think.

Tomorrow will be a better and more brighter day..
I just hope my stomach will agree.

12th-Aug-2009 04:02 pm - Ignoring Your Destructive Nature
Tyne, TyBird, Nee Nee, Littlefoot
 
 
 
Number one mistake while dating.
One expects the other to make them happy.

If you expect your lover to pull out all stops to make your day...
put your fairytale book down and come back to reality.

I'm not saying that he's never going to make your day. But just don't rely on it.
So many a times, my friends came to school upset because lover boy didn't call like he said he would...
or forgot this or that.
Blah.
Believe you me, I am NO expert with men.
I just learned this from experience.
Always have a back-up plan ready.
Do something fun and productive with YOURSELF.
Because friends and family are not always going to be at your side 100%.
Suggestions.
Read a magazine/novel.
Throw on the iPod
Enjoy some tv time.
Hell take a long bath and paint your nails.
Main point...
Love yourself when no one else will.



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